W.A.L.T make improvements to my writing and present it to an audience.
My Mistake
On one beautiful sunny summer's day, my Bask and I were swimming around by the river bed, and resting under the sun, splashing around and making mischief with my friends. My mum called me, so I went home. I was feeling lucky but I don’t know why, but I felt like something exciting was going to happen, something that involves animals.
Then I heard something, a roar from a lion. I poked my head up above the water and peered around. There were lions chasing buffaloes. The lions caught a buffalo, a baby buffalo.
It was amazing, I knew something cool was going to happen today. I heard a splash, the baby buffalo was in the water and so were the lions. It was time for me to attack the buffalo. I swam up to the river bank, but then I noticed something. The buffalo and the lions were up on the bank. The Buffalo would be really scared, and he would think that it was his last day of his life, but that’s good because that makes him weaker and it makes me more eager for the feed. I jumped out the water and latched onto the calf, then I pulled for my life. It was eye watering because I could taste the calf's juicy meat, and I could smell the victory. The lions were fighting for the meal, I could feel them tugging. I couldn’t hold on, my strong teeth and jaw wasn’t strong enough. Me versus 5 lions, that isn’t fair. So I just gave up and I let the lions finish the feast. The lions would be jumping with joy and would be so relieved that they won the tug a war, and that they bet a scaly reptile at getting food, a nice juicy calf.
I was so devastated, I just let my meal go to a stupid pride of lions. I hope my mum or my friends weren't watching because I would look like a fool in front of them. But I am joyful that the fight is over because I was about to lose my good hunting tooth. My mum will not be happy, but that is how life works. I am so lazy, I need to get stronger and more fit, so I can win next time. well off I go, to have more fun with my friends.
By Aiden
Good Job Aiden I like that you have a picture on the front of the story and what happened to you when you did tug of war with the lions.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this presentation Aiden, it is an outstanding recount that is very entertaining. I now know what a group of crocodiles is called 'bask'. Your writing is very descriptive and you have used your sense really effectively to describe what is happening.
ReplyDeleteYou should be very proud of this.
Can you think of a more effective way to present this that could include sight, sound and motion?
Thank you for the feed back.I will definitly will take your advice and find a way to use screen casterfier.
DeleteI did not know much of those facts.
ReplyDelete