Me and my friends, Cole and Rojan, wandering through the graveyard it felt like something was watching us. I didn't really take notice of it though. We find a spot in the middle of this cemetery, we all sat down, and we prepared ourselves for what we were going to play.
It was about 2:30am and darkness surrounded the cemetery. We all knew that there was a little forestry behind the cemetery but it was out of vision because none of the lights around the cemetery worked. We got the game out of my bag and just seeing the name of the bored sent chills down my spine because i had seen many videos about this game and they all seemed too work and some of them went very bad. We started the ritual as we were meant to. We circled the playing check around the bored, Asked if anyone was there, and waited.
To be continued....
Great Job Aiden
ReplyDeleteI really like the way that you have not said what happens at the end and now everyone is left wondering what is going to happen. I think that you have done a good job with all of your punctuation. You have not really used many language features but I think overall you have done a good job.
cool i learnt something new i did not know video games could spoil were do i find the expire date
ReplyDeleteNice Work Aiden, I like how you said that you got chills down your spine, it was very descriptive. Good Job.
ReplyDeleteGood use of descriptive language, Aiden! I like how you showed (rather than told) us that the character was scared when you said the chills ran down your spine.
ReplyDeleteYour next steps are to do more of that showing with some of your other sentences, too! Also have another read through your first sentence and see if it makes sense - it may need some extra punctuation!