My Mistake (first draft)

W.A.L.T recall  events through the eyes of an animal.

Success Criteria

I know I will be successful when my recount has a

• Title
• Orientation:  When? Who? Where? Why?
• Sequence of events:  What happened? Describe using the senses (hear, taste, see, smell and feel).
• Personal Comment:  How did the events make you feel?

First draft

My mistake

On one beautiful sunny summer day,  me and my bask were swimming around by the river bed, and resting under the sun, splashing around and making mischief with my friends, in the river, and then my mum called me, so I went home.  i was feeling lucky but I don’t know why, but I felt like something exciting was going to happen, something that involves animals.

Then I heard something, a roar  from a lion.  I poked my head up above the water and peered around. there were lions chasing buffalos, The lions caught a buffalo, a baby buffalo. it was amazing, I knew something cool was going to happen today.  I heard a splash, the baby buffalo was in the water and so where the lions. It was time for me to attack. I swam up to the river bank, but then i noticed something. The buffalo and the lions were up on the bank. I jumped out the water and latched onto the calf, Then I pulled for my life. I could taste the calf's juicy meat, and I could smell the victory. The lions were fighting for the meal, I could feel them tugging. I couldn’t hold on, my strong teeth and jaw wasn’t strong enough, me vs 5 lions, that isn’t fair.  So I just gave up and I let the lions finish the feast.  

I was so devastated, I just let my meal go to a stupid pride of lions.  But I am joyful that the fight is over because I was about to lose my good hunting tooth. My mum will not be happy, but that is how life works.  I am so lazy, I need to get stronger, well off I go, to have more fun.

The End